Adrenal Status

My adrenals are more damaged than I realized. Starting the iodine, with the detox and not normal reactions I'm getting, I started thinking they needed more support. So I grabbed this stuff called Rhodiola Recharge by Rainbow Light. Good stuff... excellent herbal blend.

Yeah my body liked it for about 12 hours.

My body started a reaction involving the gut and pain in my back and dizziness and crashing on energy and hypoglycemia... it's a severe version of what I deal with on a regular basis. So today I looked up odd reactions to adrenal supps... found Dr. Lam's site referencing something called "paradoxical reactions". These are reactions that even he has no idea why the body rejects things that will help it.

It's such a great site... he thinks like I do. Very methodical and his articles are ridiculously wordy but so informative and make sense.

Anyway... based on what I go through on a damn daily basis... I have Stage 3C damage. That is me. And he preaches that people need to not "self-navigate" when at this stage and a professional specialist is needed.

*ahem* Guilty! Hahaha

Because of this and how bad I crashed (its been rough) I actually contacted Dr. Lam and he actually wrote back this BOOK of explanation and asked me questions..  I think I'll use him to fix me up. I was reading thru his articles and it's crazy how bad it is, especially when that article is "talking about you".

So I ordered his book called Adrenal Fatigue Syndrome. It's a HUGE book... 500+ pages. It goes over almost every single aspect of adrenal problems that you could possibly think of.

Come to find out, my adrenals may be why I continue to miscarry.

So... I have stopped the majority of my vitamins. I'm letting my body rest for a bit and attempt to return back to normalcy. I do still take my betaine hcl with each meal, hoping to get my vitamins from my paleo diet, take some b vitamins, vitamin d and only 100% RDA of iodine. I do take the occasional selenium... every now and then.

I have started to build what I need to support the adrenals... I do see what I was missing throughout this time. I do wish that a doctor would guide me since I appear to be pretty hard core into the damage. I don't want to cause more damage, but nobody else seems to really understand how the adrenals work and what exactly they do for you.

To put it in layman's terms, the adrenals are like the timing chain/belt in a car (your body). If things aren't just right, the car isn't going to run properly. The computer (your brain) can try all it wants to correct issues in the system, or you can give it awesome fuel and oil (diet and vitamins), but without the timing belt being on the proper pegs or at the proper location, it's just going to be an inefficient system that eventually leads to the car breaking down. Sometimes you just have to take it apart, and put it back together... so this is why I have stopped the vitamins and I am attempting to stop stress.

For those who are aware that stress causes disease... the adrenals are what control your stress response. I have found how PTSD severely damages the adrenals, due to the constant fight or flight response. Autoimmune issues cause damage. Trauma causes damage. Parasite infection causes damage. 

Pardon my french, but no fucking wonder my adrenals are in a shit state. I have had 3 of the 4 things I just listed above in the last 4 years!! 

Time to correct it... and only time will tell how well this works. I'm hoping Dr. Lam helps me out with this.

Western Medicine is deceiving us

And let me tell you why.

So you know your pet at home... dog, cat, bird, horses... etc, right?

You know how we have to make sure they are de-wormed yearly or every 6 months?

Why don't humans think that we need to be de-wormed too?

Sure... it is the most disgusting thing to have to deal with.... but you could die if you don't.

How many of us have been feeling chronically sick, just to have the doctor tell us that we are perfectly healthy?

*raises hand*

I have tried almost everything to calm my system down... figure out why I have suddenly acquired food allergies... why I have gained a ton of weight and I am physically unable to lose it, even though my hormones, CBC, nutrient status, and metabolic panel shows that I'm perfectly healthy.

Why my lymphatic system is so touchy.

One of the reasons why I can't carry a baby and lose them within days.

This is one thing I haven't tried, and let me tell you why: because I believed that as an American in this "sanitary" society, it wasn't possible for me to get a parasite. I must be somewhere in the jungle in Africa to get a parasite. None of that stuff ever happens here in this country. We are immune.

Wrong.

If dogs and cats can get them, so can we. Especially when you have an autoimmune disease which naturally gives you a weakened system.

Anybody who has any sort of autoimmune issue, walks around barefoot, has sushi, swims in public waters... you could have a parasite living within, and NOT KNOW IT.

So lemme give you the quick and dirty rundown of this whole parasite thing:

It's gross. I cannot believe how HORRIFIED I was (and still am) that I had FUCKING WORMS inside me!!

Yeah, you know those twitchy muscles you get? It's probably not your muscle... it's probably a worm in your leg.

How do I know this?

Because I've had a lot of twitchy muscles for the past few years... random twitches... the occasional repeated "thumping". I started this parasite cleanse, and every single twitch, cramp, and bit of numbness came to life within a day. I was twitching and things were VERY CLEARLY moving.

I was so horrified that I went through a couple brief "Alien" moments where I wanted to stab my leg and pull out the worm physically. But, I got past it... kept going. But oh, I knew that Wormwood was working when my leg would tweak all day because I took a double dose.

There are many different parasites. People with fatty livers may have liver flukes; one of the easiest to remove. Then there are the big guys... the ones the size of your finger that's hanging out in your gut. *shiver*

So to keep things pretty simple, this is what I did:

I got a hold of a box of Parastroy. So inexpensive at maybe $20 a box... and this stuff is so easy... two pills from each bottle in the morning and in the evening, totalling 8 pills a day.

Parastroy has two different bottles in it. One is ParaSweep, and the other is ParaRid. ParaRid is the one that actually kills them. Most of the time it's a minor nervine reaction to the green black walnut hulls, cloves, garlic, which causes them to convulse and die, which is the reason why I could feel them wriggling around after starting this.  ParaSweep is to help keep your intestines moving, which equals getting bugs OUT.

Better out than in right?

It was so easy... and scary enough, it got results. I didn't want to see the results, but I'm a well known poop inspector, thanks to my Celiac issues, and well... I saw things that I've never ever EVER seen in that toilet before that came from me.

So disgusting.

So my husband had less of a problem than I did. He doesn't have the crazy autoimmune problems I do, but like I said earlier, everybody needs to do this at least yearly. He would have been just fine with just a round of Parastroy, which lasts about 20 days.

Not me.

So, when I was done with the first round, I knew there were still some things left over, so I waited 4 days or so, and then started on ginger pills and beet root as well as wormwood drops. My husband joined me for a bit, but he wasn't so into it... it wasn't really necessary for him.

The ginger pills and beet root did ok. Parastroy was better, but I needed to hit it at another angle. Wormwood was the most effective and I got results as well.

In 3 weeks of starting the ginger/beetroot/wormwood, I was feeling even better and I'm comfortable with waiting for 6 months to do another round of Parastroy.

All in all, I am very happy that I did this. I learned a lot during the time... did a lot of research regarding parasites and how you get them and what other ailments are associated. For example, heavy metal toxicity, candida, and parasites all go hand in hand.  If you have parasites, you likely have candida and heavy metal toxicity. I can confirm this for myself. If you have heavy metal toxicity, you may have parasites, but you definitely have candida. If you have candida, you may or may not have heavy metal toxicity or parasites... so you can see the waterfall effect.

If you have candida, you need to keep an eye out. Candida is the canary in the coal mine signalling a major problem that you need to address.

Sadly... this is not the answer to all my prayers... there is still an issue for me to handle. But, I will go over that in another post a bit later, once I confirm my next finding's (iodine) ability to change everything about my body.

Zinc, chemical pregnancies, and ovulation

"According to The Centers for Disease Control’s Assisted Reproductive Technology Report, low levels of zinc have been directly linked to miscarriage in the early stages of a pregnancy due to an inability for cells to divide properly, making maintaining the level of this important mineral essential to a healthy pregnancy."

http://hethir.hubpages.com/hub/How-Essential-is-Zinc-to-Fertility

So, as you know, I regularly have chemical pregnancies.

I have had problems with my zinc levels for a long time. I've tried different types and as of a couple days ago, I was taking an amino acid chelated zinc with copper for the past few months. I couldn't seem to get my stretch marks to heal (they are 2 years old!) And have very slow wound healing as well as my hair comes out in handfuls.

So, I had found out how to properly muscle test, which is basically getting answers from your subconscious about the status of your body, and I found out I'm taking the wrong kind of zinc as well as not taking in enough magnesium and biotin. So I went out Thursday and got me some new vitamins that my body claims to be able to absorb better. The biotin one surprised me... very interesting.

As of Thursday, I was CD16 and thinking it would be an anov cycle because of the detox I was doing. My opks were stark white.

Took my new vitamins that evening and did a second dose the next morning to immediately up my levels. I've been having problems with parasthesias in my mouth and I want it gone.

Yesterday afternoon... opk is almost positive! My body turned itself right around and blam positive opk today, CD18.

Zinc plays a HUGE role in ovulation as well as implantation.

Now that I allegedly have the right zinc, maybe I'll be able to hold on to my babies...

I'm ovulating the exact same day as my last major pregnancy... it's almost like a do-over. Maybe this time the baby will stick if we catch it.

Means another bfp on my birthday... lol

We will see!

In the meantime dear reader... check your nutrient status if you are having problems conceiving!

Detoxification and What Vitamins Are Needed To Do This

So I'm currently in the middle of a pretty heavy detoxification protocol, using the super antioxidant alpha lipoic acid and chlorella.

Yes yes... they have warnings that chlorella should not be used for those with autoimmune diseases, I get it.

But... the fact that I am completely cavewoman paleolithic in my diet (no grains, no dairy, very little sugar) as well as no nightshades and no FODMAPs... I have removed from my diet anything that may set off my system and compete with the chlorella.

In fact, I've been doing this for 2 months now... and guess who has two thumbs and HASN'T lost weight?

This girl.  - _ -

NOT acceptable. I don't work my ass off eating the way that I do to get nothing out of it except an immune system that isn't being set off like the fire alarm all the time.

So I did some research... found that alpha lipoic acid does go through cell walls and also through the blood brain barrier, helping you FULLY detoxify, as well as re-energizing your mitochondria, which are responsible for your metabolism.

So while the alpha lipoic acid is washing out my cells that appear to be completely full of crap, the chlorella runs through my blood stream and picks up what was tossed out of the cells, binds to it, and sends it to the exit down south.

I have been on this for a week. I am on the weakest dosage possible of both... and holy crap, my system started right back up running, but I have the hugest hangover from it. I am drinking a ton of water and eating as much fiber as I can to keep the system running smoothly.

Anyway... so the full reason of this post (because I don't have real time for an update at this time) is that I had noticed, just this week while doing this detox, that my lip numbness, faintness, and anxiety returned after lunch for some reason, within an hour.

I have determined that my b12 levels weren't doing so good... it was immediately remedied by my sublingual b12 tablets.... I'm talking within 5 minutes.

So I wanted to see what the full role that b12 had in the whole detoxification process, and if my already limited stores are being used up quicker and I need to up my dosage for the time.

Found a wonderful link for those who like to get into the full science of the whole process like me:

http://tuberose.com/Liver_Detoxification.html

Such an awesome link.

Check it out.

Will post more later on about specifics of what's been happening since July and what I've learned.

 

Death, death and more death.

I've had enough.

While I did ask for a life change... I didn't ask for my life to be ripped up out of the ground and torn to shreds.

As of my last update post, I had left my previous job and had just accepted a new one, which has turned out wonderfully. I'm not stressed at work... and I think they may actually use my capabilities better than any corporate job would.

Also ovulated on my own for the first time in a reasonable amount of time, showing the release of work related stress.

That was just the start.

Not a week later, on June 10, my husband totaled his 2000 Corolla in a freak incident involving hay bales that fell out of someone's truck, causing chain reaction chaos that unfortunately David was involved in.

You can see one of the other vehicles in this pic and their crunched up front end, as well as the hay bale on the freeway.

So we go from paid off Corolla... to new-to-us Toyota Matrix (basically a Corolla with a hatchback) with a payment. Wonderful, after I've taken a massive pay cut with my job change.

So that was Monday.

That same Friday, we found out that my sister, who was 24 weeks pregnant with my niece, Emily, had stopped feeling movement... and Emily had passed away. My sister had the heartbreaking experience of a second trimester loss... which dredged up all kinds of hell within me with all my losses, mostly my January loss.

Two days later... I got a positive pregnancy test.

It was so faint, it almost wasn't there, and that's 14dpo, so I had the feeling it was going to be yet another chemical pregnancy... and it was. The tests were negative by that evening after a long hold. I tried the next morning with my first morning pee, and still negative.

The next day, my sister was induced and she birthed baby Emily at 6:05pm. The baby was so tiny... Feeling my sister's anguish over losing her first born and her sobbing and apologizing... absolutely heart wrenching.

My bleeding from my chemical pregnancy started as my sister birthed Emily. That was truly strange.

Then we had a week of nothing happening... everything was going ok.

And then more hell broke loose...

Our dog, 1 year old Banner, who had been struggling with epileptic grand mal seizures, was killed by a cluster of seizures that went for too long on July 3rd.

This was such a shock... we didn't think he'd die from it. We only had the puppy for 6 months... he was found as a stray.  He was so frickin adorable too... the cutest boxer/pitbull mix I've ever seen, known as a bullboxer pit. This picture was taken a week before he passed. We were showing off his new Batman collar and his personalized tag we just got for him.

So that happened two days ago... yesterday was Emily's memorial where we released balloons with notes attached to them, written to Emily. Mine was written to Emily and Banner... I'm sure my husband's was also. We both put our notes on the same balloon... it weighed it down more than the others, so it took longer to take off... but then finally a wind gust caught it and pulled it up and away.

So today I sit at my computer... feeling pretty sorry for myself. This past month has sucked ASS. The only good things were that I ovulated on my own and I have a new wonderful job that doesn't drive me insane.

I don't think I can handle anymore heartache... with the loss in January, now a new one which almost wasn't there to up my tally of lost pregnancies to 11 since December 2010... losing my puppy who was well trained and smart and just so happy... losing my niece... knowing my sister is now a member of the stillbirth club...

I can't do it anymore.

Universe... please please please give me/us a break.

I really hope that this death cycle is over... death of my baby, death of my grandpa by suicide in March, death of my sister's baby, death of my puppy... all in 6 months.

This seriously tests my limits of acceptance... I typically will accept things and move on relatively easily. I have the belief that I wrote all of my life path... so I take comfort in that I wrote this in so I can experience it and accept it. Appeals to my need to control my life I think.

But this is going far... I'm having a hard time accepting that so much has been taken from me lately, while I continue to give and give all I can with educating people and helping them feel better...

I really hope I didn't write anymore tragedy in for a long time.

Pantothenic Acid (Vitamin B5) and weight loss

Spectracell Labs posted a very informative blog post regarding vitamins and weight management here that flipped on the light bulb for me today.

I was so thrilled I almost cried.

So let me start from the beginning with a bit of background.

I have expressed in prior posts how I had been overweight, went thru the hcg diet a few times, got down to my ideal weight, and then I gained weight like no other in the next year, unable to control my weight gain with my strict immense willpower when it comes to food. I gained some 90lbs and would have kept going if I hadn't found my Celiac at the end of 2011. Went gluten free and weight gain stopped... but no weight loss ever happened on its own.

Found out last September that I had a severe vitamin B5 deficiency after being tested by Spectracell Labs. Come to find out, this is normal for celiacs, as I think I mentioned in my post back then.

So... I started supplementing B5 after finishing yet another round of hcg dieting that was absolutely fruitless. (No weight loss at all)

Got pregnant in November... and I actually lost a size while pregnant. No crazy food issues either. No major morning sickness that prevented me from eating or anything.

Lost the baby in January... and ran out of my huge bottles of pantothenic acid then. Thinking I didn't need it anymore, I didn't bother to replace them.

I gained 10lbs in the following two months... realized I felt like crap again so I started up the b5 again at half the dose, and realized I'll probably have to supplement for the rest of my life... I just don't absorb it properly.

Ok so now that you have the short and sweet story... the reason for this whole post.

Spectracell mentioned in their blog that B5 is the precursor to the enzyme lipase, which is the FAT BURNING ENZYME.

Holy mother of god... I found the reason why I gained so much weight uncontrollably and now I know how to reverse it.

I've been all about the enzymes lately... I knew I was lacking in lipase but I couldn't figure out why nor how to fix it, other than to supplement with digestive enzymes.

If I look back at my history it all makes sense.

Fasted with the hcg diet a number of times in 2009, likely depleting cellularly stored pantothenic acid. Since I don't absorb it properly, I wasn't able to replenish it. With each hcg round, my ability to lose weight decreased and the weight loss would slow. I notoriously lost less weight than others doing the same diet and even with them cheating on it and me being very strict.

So I gained after I was done with those. A lot. No lipase available to burn fat as energy.

Fast forward to October last year... didn't lose at all... my stores were empty, as referenced by my nutrition report.

November thru January supplementing 1g a day and lost a pant size (didn't lose scale weight, but didn't gain either).

Bottle ends and I gain weight back.

I get a new bottle and flip from taking 500mg to 1g a day... mostly 500mg a day. I fluctuate in size... I don't know my smaller days are related to the 1g or not.

SO... I took 2g today of pantothenic acid. My normal 500 this morning and 1500mg this evening.

I so can't wait to see if this is going to work for me.

I will check in with this later.

As of this morning, I am 225.2 lbs.

In the meantime, check out this wonderfully written article about pantothenic acid:

http://www.coryholly.com/articles/article.cfm?id=172

Sometimes things just happen...

Ok, I'm going to upset most women suffering from infertility out there.

Things happen for a reason.

This is the case for me.

I kept my eyes open after losing the last LO in January. My body REFUSED to ovulate normally. I had a really weak ovulation in March, which was clearly a no-go... and I hadn't ovulated since.

Until this week.

Let's do a recap:

I lost my 11 week pregnancy on January 6.

Haven't been able to ovulate properly since.

I have sworn that my job was making me infertile... that's how stressed out I was.

I left my job on 5/22.  I skipped my way to my car, just thrilled to pieces that I NEVER had to go back.  I did end up having to go back a couple days later to pick up my stuff, and after getting through that anxiety attack, I went, got my stuff and left.

I have been peeing on opks for a couple weeks, just to see what my luteinizing hormone is doing. I was expecting a ridiculously long cycle. Last time I actually ovulated, it was on CD27.  Last cycle, I got to CD35 before I started progesterone to end the cycle.

And two days ago, CD23, I get a positive on my opk.  The top one is from that morning, the bottom one was taken at like 2pm.  I randomly did this... I usually only took 1 a day. Either way, I would have seen the positive the next morning either way... but holy smokes.

My temp is starting to go up... my breasts are a little tender... and as of today, my opk is negative. I think I actually ovulated...

... on my own!!

So... today, I had an interview with a new employer for a position that I think I will succeed with.

... and I start tomorrow.

Can you believe this?!  New job, suddenly ovulating now that I'm no longer with my prior employer that was killing me with stress... 

Imagine all this happening at 7-8 months pregnant.

There's a reason why that baby miscarried. As bad as it sounds... it wasn't time.  It may still not be time. 

But I know that I'm moving forward in my own journey. Changes are always a good thing.

I know for a lot of women going through similar fertility issues, it's not about "relaxing" or anything like that. They have a medical condition that they have to overcome for it to happen.

I've already done that. ;-)  And I still don't have my baby and my bloodwork showed clean at the RE for the repeat loss panel.  We didn't know why I was still having problems ovulating after the miscarriage. It was a big ??

Sometimes, when it's just a big question mark as to why certain things are happening... there is no quantifiable reason... 

Sometimes you just need to step back and let go of the reins and let the Universe take you.

I did... and I'm better off.