Things happen for a reason.
This is the case for me.
I kept my eyes open after losing the last LO in January. My body REFUSED to ovulate normally. I had a really weak ovulation in March, which was clearly a no-go... and I hadn't ovulated since.
Until this week.
Let's do a recap:
I lost my 11 week pregnancy on January 6.
Haven't been able to ovulate properly since.
I have sworn that my job was making me infertile... that's how stressed out I was.
I left my job on 5/22. I skipped my way to my car, just thrilled to pieces that I NEVER had to go back. I did end up having to go back a couple days later to pick up my stuff, and after getting through that anxiety attack, I went, got my stuff and left.
I have been peeing on opks for a couple weeks, just to see what my luteinizing hormone is doing. I was expecting a ridiculously long cycle. Last time I actually ovulated, it was on CD27. Last cycle, I got to CD35 before I started progesterone to end the cycle.
And two days ago, CD23, I get a positive on my opk. The top one is from that morning, the bottom one was taken at like 2pm. I randomly did this... I usually only took 1 a day. Either way, I would have seen the positive the next morning either way... but holy smokes.
My temp is starting to go up... my breasts are a little tender... and as of today, my opk is negative. I think I actually ovulated...
... on my own!!
So... today, I had an interview with a new employer for a position that I think I will succeed with.
... and I start tomorrow.
Can you believe this?! New job, suddenly ovulating now that I'm no longer with my prior employer that was killing me with stress...
Imagine all this happening at 7-8 months pregnant.
There's a reason why that baby miscarried. As bad as it sounds... it wasn't time. It may still not be time.
But I know that I'm moving forward in my own journey. Changes are always a good thing.
I know for a lot of women going through similar fertility issues, it's not about "relaxing" or anything like that. They have a medical condition that they have to overcome for it to happen.
I've already done that. ;-) And I still don't have my baby and my bloodwork showed clean at the RE for the repeat loss panel. We didn't know why I was still having problems ovulating after the miscarriage. It was a big ??
Sometimes, when it's just a big question mark as to why certain things are happening... there is no quantifiable reason...
Sometimes you just need to step back and let go of the reins and let the Universe take you.
I did... and I'm better off.
