Quorra's Birth Story

Birth Story of Quorra Renee

Her birth didn't turn out the way I had planned and wanted, but it turned out great either way.

Back in the beginning of the pregnancy with her, I had a dream that she was going to be born on 10/17. I noted the date in my calendar so I didn't forget as the time approached.

The last week of September, at 35 weeks, I knew the countdown was on. I was achy and the braxton hicks had ramped up immensely, where positional change created a contraction throughout the day. I was also pretty stressed out at work, which created stress induced contractions as well as Quorra squirming at the adrenaline jump from the stress. I was exhausted... I had 2 days that week of contractions every 15 minutes... made me so sore. I was heavily using magnesium to keep the contractions at bay.

It was at this week I decided to do some muscle testing (applied kinesiology) on the baby to see if she could give me a date on when she was going to arrive. I had tried this months before and she wasn't able to provide a good time at that time, but since the time was getting closer, I thought I'd try again, just to see if it works.

Quorra confirmed she would show October 17... and I believed her.

At 36 weeks, first week of October, I withdrew from employment for the sake of my sanity as well as health and health of Quorra. I wanted her to come when she was ready... not because my body was kicking her out due to a stress response. I continued to have regular braxton hicks along with lightning crotch as she would engage. I sat back and rested to calm down my system and let it do it's thing.

The first part of 37 weeks was calmer. So much calmer that I mentioned to David and other friends that this was likely “the calm before the storm” on Wednesday 10/15. No braxton hicks... I felt the urge to get some things ready, like my padsicles and pack up other random things.

That night, I had some braxton hicks contractions that got down to about 8 minutes apart... I moved around a bit and it stopped.

Quorra was posterior head down... and my body kept trying to move her around and she was just not having it.

The next couple days were similar in behavior... quiet in the morning, and then contractions would start up around 5pm and quit around 9pm after I would get up and move around to either get them to be productive or stop them.

October 17 came and went... and boy was I disappointed. I was convinced it would be another couple weeks of these contractions and discomfort while sleeping. My hips, suffering with SPD, ramped up into another level of pain that day. I had a chiropractic appointment that day that I missed (David was late from work) and I was just dying... could hardly walk at all.

Saturday 10/18 was a day of laying around because 1) I couldn't walk, and 2) I was annoyed that I couldn't sleep. Contractions were pretty constant that day, but nothing painful and nothing productive. I was surfing around on the internet and found where someone had suggested the Spinning BabiesPelvic Floor release for SPD and hip pain. DEAL. I was willing to try anything and the position was easy enough... and I was not about to go possibly another 2 weeks in this much pain.

David came home from work and we performed the pelvic floor release around 8:30pm that night. I heard this nice pop... and I noticed an immediate relief from pain. Hoping it wasn't just psychosomatic, we went to bed that night and I prayed it would move into the next day and swore I'd do it every day if I needed to.

I woke to a nasty contraction at 315am that night that felt like an IBS attack. I've had these throughout the pregnancy, so I really didn't think much of it... just went to the restroom, and then as I went back to the bed, another contraction hit me. Fearing that I ate something that was going to irritate my stomach (had GF homemade pizza) I stayed up and waited the contraction out to see if I was going to need to return to the restroom. I climbed back into bed and dozed until I was woken up again at 350am by another contraction.

By this point, I was like “really...? come on stomach.” I got up again, returned to the restroom, where nothing was happening in there. Started to leave, and got another contraction. By this point, I had figured out it had nothing to do with my stomach. :) I stood next to the bed and waited for the next one, watching the clock... and in 5 minutes I got another.

So I decided to get up... went out to the living room and sat in the dark on my recliner/rocker, rocking and reading FB and whatnot. Turned on my contraction timer... contractions were anywhere between 8 min apart down to 4 and were a solid 45 seconds to about min and a half long.

From 4am to 5am, there was a break in pain between the contractions and I just waited through it. Toward 5am I had to start focusing through them, as they intensified... and the pain never quite disappeared between contractions at this point. I was starting to feel it in my back, so I changed positions to try and relieve this, and it just made it worse. Leaning forward did nothing... being on hands and knees was very uncomfortable.

By this point, the time between was shortening down to 2-3 min between contractions. I still felt like there was a bowel problem, so of course my brain starts coming up with reasons why it would be my bowel and not labor. I had issues with my bowels for the last week... so of course I was like “Maybe it's a blockage!” and combining that with the fact that there was constant pain and no break like I was taught between contractions, I was thinking it was a medical emergency and not just having a baby.

I wait until 5:30 to wake up David. Things were getting more and more intense and the pain between contractions were getting worse. Having planned on a home birth, no hospital bag had been packed... so I threw some things together... and included a couple of baby things because if I was going to have surgery, the baby was coming too.

Things were calm... there was no scramble or anything like that. I really didn't want to go to the hospital, but I was getting more and more concerned that there was a problem that might affect the baby and I wasn't taking that risk.

We drove to the hospital... we were in by 6am.

First thing they said: “Not a blockage... you are likely in labor.”

Wonderful. I fell for the first time mom newbie trick... blamed my pain on something else and ended up in the hospital when that wasn't what I intended.

So they took me to a room, checked me, and I was at 3.5cm. Went through all their questions... told them I didn't want an epidural... but maybe some pain meds to take the edge off. They told me that they would be back in 45 min to check again... if there is progression, they will check me in to labor and delivery. In the meantime, I was to lay on the bed on my left side and see if the contractions would slow down.

Yeah... no. It made the contractions SO MUCH WORSE. I tried so hard to tolerate it... and finally I was allowed to get up and move.

Unfortunately, at this point, I was unable to even THINK about walking down that hallway. I was in constant pain... and when the contractions hit, they were sharp and intense, causing me to tighten up, feeling like everything from my ribs down to my knees was going to just explode into one hot mess in that room. I couldn't even make my way off the bed. I just stood there, shaking... thinking I was going to vomit from the pain. I am NOT a puker... and this was purely a pain response. I had no nausea, just a pure body reaction to the intense pain.

At this point, I'm seriously rethinking my “no epidural” journey... a big “fuck it, I'm here anyway and this blows” was running through my mind.

Finally they came back and checked me again... I was at 5cm. It seemed like forever... even though it was just the 45 minutes they said. They agreed that I was in labor and started the process to get me wheeled up.

I told them an epidural was needed... and soon. I told David to keep that trash can handy because I don't know what my stomach is going to do.

So we get up there... all I can see is the light at the end of the tunnel. The nurse was saying the anesthesiologist was on his way to get this done right away for me and they were going to start my IV and get me on some antibiotics because I never had GBS testing. They had to do two rounds of antibiotics I guess.

I just didn't really care... I wanted relief... just some sort of SOMETHING to take the edge off.

Anesthesiologist showed up... real nice guy. I liked him even more because he was salvation for me. Haha

We got the epidural done and done quick. I barely felt the needle go in... for either my IV or the epidural. Within 5 minutes, the roar of pain in my head dimmed enough for me to think and take in my surroundings.

And boy was I thankful.

In another 10 minutes, the nurse checked me again... this was maybe 45 minutes to an hour after the last check... I was at 9cm! Looking back now, it's a good thing they got that epidural in me when they did, otherwise they wouldn't have been able to do it... I was too far along, and it was only like 830am. I'm pretty sure if I hadn't gotten the epidural, Quorra would have easily been born by 10am.

However, I got the epidural... and that took more than just the edge off. I couldn't feel CRAP. Most people talk about having some sort of measure of muscle control... yeah, not me.

The nurse and the doc came in... the nurse was the best ever, named Mary Kay. She was so close to a midwife... she was all about breastfeeding and skin on skin and all about bonding with the baby.

Speaking of... I had researched this hospital. I had a little inkling that this exact situation might happen so I wanted to make sure I went with the right hospital. This hospital has the 2 hour bonding process for the baby and they were all about avoiding c-sections... I was very happy with it.

Both nurse and doc mentioned that my body was just powering through heavy duty contractions every 1.5 to 2 min... “cranking them out”. Quorra was doing well... her heart rate was remaining normal with the normal fluctuations. In fact, she was kicking me and moving around the whole time. Earlier in the process, I was convinced she was “hiding” under my ribs like “hell no, I'm not leaving!”

About 11am, I started feeling the contractions more. I mentioned it to the nurse, in case it meant something. Come to find out, at about 1245 when she checked me again to get ready to push, my water had broken on it's own... which is likely why I started feeling the contractions again. No more cushion!

So we started the process of pushing... and wow. I didn't realize I could push so hard. Hahaha I swear I blew a few veins in my head... talk about a star burst each time that took my breath away.

I ended up pushing for about an hour... Quorra was still posterior and locked behind my pubic bone. She unfortunately bears the mark of my pubic bone on her nose... poor baby.

Toward the end, her cord came up near her head, and got locked in the cervix, and it caused a massive deceleration of her heart rate... down to 50. The nurse kicked into gear, called in the doc, got oxygen on me, and the room was then flooded with people ready to get the baby out NOW. The nurse was good... she didn't express any urgency or tell me really what was going on... I finally figured out what was happening and I started my inner dialogue with Quorra, telling her to hang on, she will be out in a bit. Right after telling her this, her heart rate returned back to the 140's, where it had been normally.

I pushed maybe 2-3 more times after this, and she finally came through with a loud garbled cry.

My reaction: “BABY!!” and burst into tears.

They cleaned out her air ways and placed her on my chest/belly in a towel... they kept rubbing her with this terry towel, which I know was way too rough for her sensitive newborn skin, so she kept crying because they kept rubbing at her. She would quiet and look around when they would stop.

David got some video... I talked to her a bit... held on to her for a bit while the placenta was being birthed. They delayed the cord cutting at my request and they were able to provide me my placenta for encapsulation without issue. David cut the cord... and when we were ready, they took her away to weigh and measure and whatnot.

At 7lbs 15oz and 21.25 inches long, she was set and ready to be a 10lb baby if she had gone to 40 weeks. She was born at 143pm at exactly 38 weeks. Her head thick dark LONG hair was crazy... at almost 2 weeks old, she has lost a minor amount but still definitely has it. :)  

She didn't quite show on the October 17 like she had intended, but I think my pelvic floor was holding her back... if I hadn't done that release, it could have been even later. 

She is the most amazing blessing and I am thankful for her presence every day. :) 

Adrenal Status

My adrenals are more damaged than I realized. Starting the iodine, with the detox and not normal reactions I'm getting, I started thinking they needed more support. So I grabbed this stuff called Rhodiola Recharge by Rainbow Light. Good stuff... excellent herbal blend.

Yeah my body liked it for about 12 hours.

My body started a reaction involving the gut and pain in my back and dizziness and crashing on energy and hypoglycemia... it's a severe version of what I deal with on a regular basis. So today I looked up odd reactions to adrenal supps... found Dr. Lam's site referencing something called "paradoxical reactions". These are reactions that even he has no idea why the body rejects things that will help it.

It's such a great site... he thinks like I do. Very methodical and his articles are ridiculously wordy but so informative and make sense.

Anyway... based on what I go through on a damn daily basis... I have Stage 3C damage. That is me. And he preaches that people need to not "self-navigate" when at this stage and a professional specialist is needed.

*ahem* Guilty! Hahaha

Because of this and how bad I crashed (its been rough) I actually contacted Dr. Lam and he actually wrote back this BOOK of explanation and asked me questions..  I think I'll use him to fix me up. I was reading thru his articles and it's crazy how bad it is, especially when that article is "talking about you".

So I ordered his book called Adrenal Fatigue Syndrome. It's a HUGE book... 500+ pages. It goes over almost every single aspect of adrenal problems that you could possibly think of.

Come to find out, my adrenals may be why I continue to miscarry.

So... I have stopped the majority of my vitamins. I'm letting my body rest for a bit and attempt to return back to normalcy. I do still take my betaine hcl with each meal, hoping to get my vitamins from my paleo diet, take some b vitamins, vitamin d and only 100% RDA of iodine. I do take the occasional selenium... every now and then.

I have started to build what I need to support the adrenals... I do see what I was missing throughout this time. I do wish that a doctor would guide me since I appear to be pretty hard core into the damage. I don't want to cause more damage, but nobody else seems to really understand how the adrenals work and what exactly they do for you.

To put it in layman's terms, the adrenals are like the timing chain/belt in a car (your body). If things aren't just right, the car isn't going to run properly. The computer (your brain) can try all it wants to correct issues in the system, or you can give it awesome fuel and oil (diet and vitamins), but without the timing belt being on the proper pegs or at the proper location, it's just going to be an inefficient system that eventually leads to the car breaking down. Sometimes you just have to take it apart, and put it back together... so this is why I have stopped the vitamins and I am attempting to stop stress.

For those who are aware that stress causes disease... the adrenals are what control your stress response. I have found how PTSD severely damages the adrenals, due to the constant fight or flight response. Autoimmune issues cause damage. Trauma causes damage. Parasite infection causes damage. 

Pardon my french, but no fucking wonder my adrenals are in a shit state. I have had 3 of the 4 things I just listed above in the last 4 years!! 

Time to correct it... and only time will tell how well this works. I'm hoping Dr. Lam helps me out with this.

Western Medicine is deceiving us

And let me tell you why.

So you know your pet at home... dog, cat, bird, horses... etc, right?

You know how we have to make sure they are de-wormed yearly or every 6 months?

Why don't humans think that we need to be de-wormed too?

Sure... it is the most disgusting thing to have to deal with.... but you could die if you don't.

How many of us have been feeling chronically sick, just to have the doctor tell us that we are perfectly healthy?

*raises hand*

I have tried almost everything to calm my system down... figure out why I have suddenly acquired food allergies... why I have gained a ton of weight and I am physically unable to lose it, even though my hormones, CBC, nutrient status, and metabolic panel shows that I'm perfectly healthy.

Why my lymphatic system is so touchy.

One of the reasons why I can't carry a baby and lose them within days.

This is one thing I haven't tried, and let me tell you why: because I believed that as an American in this "sanitary" society, it wasn't possible for me to get a parasite. I must be somewhere in the jungle in Africa to get a parasite. None of that stuff ever happens here in this country. We are immune.

Wrong.

If dogs and cats can get them, so can we. Especially when you have an autoimmune disease which naturally gives you a weakened system.

Anybody who has any sort of autoimmune issue, walks around barefoot, has sushi, swims in public waters... you could have a parasite living within, and NOT KNOW IT.

So lemme give you the quick and dirty rundown of this whole parasite thing:

It's gross. I cannot believe how HORRIFIED I was (and still am) that I had FUCKING WORMS inside me!!

Yeah, you know those twitchy muscles you get? It's probably not your muscle... it's probably a worm in your leg.

How do I know this?

Because I've had a lot of twitchy muscles for the past few years... random twitches... the occasional repeated "thumping". I started this parasite cleanse, and every single twitch, cramp, and bit of numbness came to life within a day. I was twitching and things were VERY CLEARLY moving.

I was so horrified that I went through a couple brief "Alien" moments where I wanted to stab my leg and pull out the worm physically. But, I got past it... kept going. But oh, I knew that Wormwood was working when my leg would tweak all day because I took a double dose.

There are many different parasites. People with fatty livers may have liver flukes; one of the easiest to remove. Then there are the big guys... the ones the size of your finger that's hanging out in your gut. *shiver*

So to keep things pretty simple, this is what I did:

I got a hold of a box of Parastroy. So inexpensive at maybe $20 a box... and this stuff is so easy... two pills from each bottle in the morning and in the evening, totalling 8 pills a day.

Parastroy has two different bottles in it. One is ParaSweep, and the other is ParaRid. ParaRid is the one that actually kills them. Most of the time it's a minor nervine reaction to the green black walnut hulls, cloves, garlic, which causes them to convulse and die, which is the reason why I could feel them wriggling around after starting this.  ParaSweep is to help keep your intestines moving, which equals getting bugs OUT.

Better out than in right?

It was so easy... and scary enough, it got results. I didn't want to see the results, but I'm a well known poop inspector, thanks to my Celiac issues, and well... I saw things that I've never ever EVER seen in that toilet before that came from me.

So disgusting.

So my husband had less of a problem than I did. He doesn't have the crazy autoimmune problems I do, but like I said earlier, everybody needs to do this at least yearly. He would have been just fine with just a round of Parastroy, which lasts about 20 days.

Not me.

So, when I was done with the first round, I knew there were still some things left over, so I waited 4 days or so, and then started on ginger pills and beet root as well as wormwood drops. My husband joined me for a bit, but he wasn't so into it... it wasn't really necessary for him.

The ginger pills and beet root did ok. Parastroy was better, but I needed to hit it at another angle. Wormwood was the most effective and I got results as well.

In 3 weeks of starting the ginger/beetroot/wormwood, I was feeling even better and I'm comfortable with waiting for 6 months to do another round of Parastroy.

All in all, I am very happy that I did this. I learned a lot during the time... did a lot of research regarding parasites and how you get them and what other ailments are associated. For example, heavy metal toxicity, candida, and parasites all go hand in hand.  If you have parasites, you likely have candida and heavy metal toxicity. I can confirm this for myself. If you have heavy metal toxicity, you may have parasites, but you definitely have candida. If you have candida, you may or may not have heavy metal toxicity or parasites... so you can see the waterfall effect.

If you have candida, you need to keep an eye out. Candida is the canary in the coal mine signalling a major problem that you need to address.

Sadly... this is not the answer to all my prayers... there is still an issue for me to handle. But, I will go over that in another post a bit later, once I confirm my next finding's (iodine) ability to change everything about my body.

Zinc, chemical pregnancies, and ovulation

"According to The Centers for Disease Control’s Assisted Reproductive Technology Report, low levels of zinc have been directly linked to miscarriage in the early stages of a pregnancy due to an inability for cells to divide properly, making maintaining the level of this important mineral essential to a healthy pregnancy."

http://hethir.hubpages.com/hub/How-Essential-is-Zinc-to-Fertility

So, as you know, I regularly have chemical pregnancies.

I have had problems with my zinc levels for a long time. I've tried different types and as of a couple days ago, I was taking an amino acid chelated zinc with copper for the past few months. I couldn't seem to get my stretch marks to heal (they are 2 years old!) And have very slow wound healing as well as my hair comes out in handfuls.

So, I had found out how to properly muscle test, which is basically getting answers from your subconscious about the status of your body, and I found out I'm taking the wrong kind of zinc as well as not taking in enough magnesium and biotin. So I went out Thursday and got me some new vitamins that my body claims to be able to absorb better. The biotin one surprised me... very interesting.

As of Thursday, I was CD16 and thinking it would be an anov cycle because of the detox I was doing. My opks were stark white.

Took my new vitamins that evening and did a second dose the next morning to immediately up my levels. I've been having problems with parasthesias in my mouth and I want it gone.

Yesterday afternoon... opk is almost positive! My body turned itself right around and blam positive opk today, CD18.

Zinc plays a HUGE role in ovulation as well as implantation.

Now that I allegedly have the right zinc, maybe I'll be able to hold on to my babies...

I'm ovulating the exact same day as my last major pregnancy... it's almost like a do-over. Maybe this time the baby will stick if we catch it.

Means another bfp on my birthday... lol

We will see!

In the meantime dear reader... check your nutrient status if you are having problems conceiving!

Detoxification and What Vitamins Are Needed To Do This

So I'm currently in the middle of a pretty heavy detoxification protocol, using the super antioxidant alpha lipoic acid and chlorella.

Yes yes... they have warnings that chlorella should not be used for those with autoimmune diseases, I get it.

But... the fact that I am completely cavewoman paleolithic in my diet (no grains, no dairy, very little sugar) as well as no nightshades and no FODMAPs... I have removed from my diet anything that may set off my system and compete with the chlorella.

In fact, I've been doing this for 2 months now... and guess who has two thumbs and HASN'T lost weight?

This girl.  - _ -

NOT acceptable. I don't work my ass off eating the way that I do to get nothing out of it except an immune system that isn't being set off like the fire alarm all the time.

So I did some research... found that alpha lipoic acid does go through cell walls and also through the blood brain barrier, helping you FULLY detoxify, as well as re-energizing your mitochondria, which are responsible for your metabolism.

So while the alpha lipoic acid is washing out my cells that appear to be completely full of crap, the chlorella runs through my blood stream and picks up what was tossed out of the cells, binds to it, and sends it to the exit down south.

I have been on this for a week. I am on the weakest dosage possible of both... and holy crap, my system started right back up running, but I have the hugest hangover from it. I am drinking a ton of water and eating as much fiber as I can to keep the system running smoothly.

Anyway... so the full reason of this post (because I don't have real time for an update at this time) is that I had noticed, just this week while doing this detox, that my lip numbness, faintness, and anxiety returned after lunch for some reason, within an hour.

I have determined that my b12 levels weren't doing so good... it was immediately remedied by my sublingual b12 tablets.... I'm talking within 5 minutes.

So I wanted to see what the full role that b12 had in the whole detoxification process, and if my already limited stores are being used up quicker and I need to up my dosage for the time.

Found a wonderful link for those who like to get into the full science of the whole process like me:

http://tuberose.com/Liver_Detoxification.html

Such an awesome link.

Check it out.

Will post more later on about specifics of what's been happening since July and what I've learned.

 

Death, death and more death.

I've had enough.

While I did ask for a life change... I didn't ask for my life to be ripped up out of the ground and torn to shreds.

As of my last update post, I had left my previous job and had just accepted a new one, which has turned out wonderfully. I'm not stressed at work... and I think they may actually use my capabilities better than any corporate job would.

Also ovulated on my own for the first time in a reasonable amount of time, showing the release of work related stress.

That was just the start.

Not a week later, on June 10, my husband totaled his 2000 Corolla in a freak incident involving hay bales that fell out of someone's truck, causing chain reaction chaos that unfortunately David was involved in.

You can see one of the other vehicles in this pic and their crunched up front end, as well as the hay bale on the freeway.

So we go from paid off Corolla... to new-to-us Toyota Matrix (basically a Corolla with a hatchback) with a payment. Wonderful, after I've taken a massive pay cut with my job change.

So that was Monday.

That same Friday, we found out that my sister, who was 24 weeks pregnant with my niece, Emily, had stopped feeling movement... and Emily had passed away. My sister had the heartbreaking experience of a second trimester loss... which dredged up all kinds of hell within me with all my losses, mostly my January loss.

Two days later... I got a positive pregnancy test.

It was so faint, it almost wasn't there, and that's 14dpo, so I had the feeling it was going to be yet another chemical pregnancy... and it was. The tests were negative by that evening after a long hold. I tried the next morning with my first morning pee, and still negative.

The next day, my sister was induced and she birthed baby Emily at 6:05pm. The baby was so tiny... Feeling my sister's anguish over losing her first born and her sobbing and apologizing... absolutely heart wrenching.

My bleeding from my chemical pregnancy started as my sister birthed Emily. That was truly strange.

Then we had a week of nothing happening... everything was going ok.

And then more hell broke loose...

Our dog, 1 year old Banner, who had been struggling with epileptic grand mal seizures, was killed by a cluster of seizures that went for too long on July 3rd.

This was such a shock... we didn't think he'd die from it. We only had the puppy for 6 months... he was found as a stray.  He was so frickin adorable too... the cutest boxer/pitbull mix I've ever seen, known as a bullboxer pit. This picture was taken a week before he passed. We were showing off his new Batman collar and his personalized tag we just got for him.

So that happened two days ago... yesterday was Emily's memorial where we released balloons with notes attached to them, written to Emily. Mine was written to Emily and Banner... I'm sure my husband's was also. We both put our notes on the same balloon... it weighed it down more than the others, so it took longer to take off... but then finally a wind gust caught it and pulled it up and away.

So today I sit at my computer... feeling pretty sorry for myself. This past month has sucked ASS. The only good things were that I ovulated on my own and I have a new wonderful job that doesn't drive me insane.

I don't think I can handle anymore heartache... with the loss in January, now a new one which almost wasn't there to up my tally of lost pregnancies to 11 since December 2010... losing my puppy who was well trained and smart and just so happy... losing my niece... knowing my sister is now a member of the stillbirth club...

I can't do it anymore.

Universe... please please please give me/us a break.

I really hope that this death cycle is over... death of my baby, death of my grandpa by suicide in March, death of my sister's baby, death of my puppy... all in 6 months.

This seriously tests my limits of acceptance... I typically will accept things and move on relatively easily. I have the belief that I wrote all of my life path... so I take comfort in that I wrote this in so I can experience it and accept it. Appeals to my need to control my life I think.

But this is going far... I'm having a hard time accepting that so much has been taken from me lately, while I continue to give and give all I can with educating people and helping them feel better...

I really hope I didn't write anymore tragedy in for a long time.

Pantothenic Acid (Vitamin B5) and weight loss

Spectracell Labs posted a very informative blog post regarding vitamins and weight management here that flipped on the light bulb for me today.

I was so thrilled I almost cried.

So let me start from the beginning with a bit of background.

I have expressed in prior posts how I had been overweight, went thru the hcg diet a few times, got down to my ideal weight, and then I gained weight like no other in the next year, unable to control my weight gain with my strict immense willpower when it comes to food. I gained some 90lbs and would have kept going if I hadn't found my Celiac at the end of 2011. Went gluten free and weight gain stopped... but no weight loss ever happened on its own.

Found out last September that I had a severe vitamin B5 deficiency after being tested by Spectracell Labs. Come to find out, this is normal for celiacs, as I think I mentioned in my post back then.

So... I started supplementing B5 after finishing yet another round of hcg dieting that was absolutely fruitless. (No weight loss at all)

Got pregnant in November... and I actually lost a size while pregnant. No crazy food issues either. No major morning sickness that prevented me from eating or anything.

Lost the baby in January... and ran out of my huge bottles of pantothenic acid then. Thinking I didn't need it anymore, I didn't bother to replace them.

I gained 10lbs in the following two months... realized I felt like crap again so I started up the b5 again at half the dose, and realized I'll probably have to supplement for the rest of my life... I just don't absorb it properly.

Ok so now that you have the short and sweet story... the reason for this whole post.

Spectracell mentioned in their blog that B5 is the precursor to the enzyme lipase, which is the FAT BURNING ENZYME.

Holy mother of god... I found the reason why I gained so much weight uncontrollably and now I know how to reverse it.

I've been all about the enzymes lately... I knew I was lacking in lipase but I couldn't figure out why nor how to fix it, other than to supplement with digestive enzymes.

If I look back at my history it all makes sense.

Fasted with the hcg diet a number of times in 2009, likely depleting cellularly stored pantothenic acid. Since I don't absorb it properly, I wasn't able to replenish it. With each hcg round, my ability to lose weight decreased and the weight loss would slow. I notoriously lost less weight than others doing the same diet and even with them cheating on it and me being very strict.

So I gained after I was done with those. A lot. No lipase available to burn fat as energy.

Fast forward to October last year... didn't lose at all... my stores were empty, as referenced by my nutrition report.

November thru January supplementing 1g a day and lost a pant size (didn't lose scale weight, but didn't gain either).

Bottle ends and I gain weight back.

I get a new bottle and flip from taking 500mg to 1g a day... mostly 500mg a day. I fluctuate in size... I don't know my smaller days are related to the 1g or not.

SO... I took 2g today of pantothenic acid. My normal 500 this morning and 1500mg this evening.

I so can't wait to see if this is going to work for me.

I will check in with this later.

As of this morning, I am 225.2 lbs.

In the meantime, check out this wonderfully written article about pantothenic acid:

http://www.coryholly.com/articles/article.cfm?id=172

Sometimes things just happen...

Ok, I'm going to upset most women suffering from infertility out there.

Things happen for a reason.

This is the case for me.

I kept my eyes open after losing the last LO in January. My body REFUSED to ovulate normally. I had a really weak ovulation in March, which was clearly a no-go... and I hadn't ovulated since.

Until this week.

Let's do a recap:

I lost my 11 week pregnancy on January 6.

Haven't been able to ovulate properly since.

I have sworn that my job was making me infertile... that's how stressed out I was.

I left my job on 5/22.  I skipped my way to my car, just thrilled to pieces that I NEVER had to go back.  I did end up having to go back a couple days later to pick up my stuff, and after getting through that anxiety attack, I went, got my stuff and left.

I have been peeing on opks for a couple weeks, just to see what my luteinizing hormone is doing. I was expecting a ridiculously long cycle. Last time I actually ovulated, it was on CD27.  Last cycle, I got to CD35 before I started progesterone to end the cycle.

And two days ago, CD23, I get a positive on my opk.  The top one is from that morning, the bottom one was taken at like 2pm.  I randomly did this... I usually only took 1 a day. Either way, I would have seen the positive the next morning either way... but holy smokes.

My temp is starting to go up... my breasts are a little tender... and as of today, my opk is negative. I think I actually ovulated...

... on my own!!

So... today, I had an interview with a new employer for a position that I think I will succeed with.

... and I start tomorrow.

Can you believe this?!  New job, suddenly ovulating now that I'm no longer with my prior employer that was killing me with stress... 

Imagine all this happening at 7-8 months pregnant.

There's a reason why that baby miscarried. As bad as it sounds... it wasn't time.  It may still not be time. 

But I know that I'm moving forward in my own journey. Changes are always a good thing.

I know for a lot of women going through similar fertility issues, it's not about "relaxing" or anything like that. They have a medical condition that they have to overcome for it to happen.

I've already done that. ;-)  And I still don't have my baby and my bloodwork showed clean at the RE for the repeat loss panel.  We didn't know why I was still having problems ovulating after the miscarriage. It was a big ??

Sometimes, when it's just a big question mark as to why certain things are happening... there is no quantifiable reason... 

Sometimes you just need to step back and let go of the reins and let the Universe take you.

I did... and I'm better off.

Chakra Healing Audio and Healing Symptoms

I had to share this... I randomly found this today in my online searching, so I started listening to it.

Ooo boy! I have a lot of chakra issues.  I couldn't make it through the whole audio.

Shoot, I couldn't make it through 15 minutes without pausing it and walking away to calm down my body.

In listening to things like this that energetically help you heal, if you go into something like panic attacks or have a bout of nausea or get dizzy... this is just your chakras shaking off the negative attachments as well as opening up and healing.

It's kind of like a Herxheimer Reaction (die-off reaction)... but from energy healing.

Take it slow... breathe deep... if you need to stop the audio because you just aren't feeling good, stop it and go back to it later.

It's what I had to do... I think I need to focus more on my energies these days and fix this problem because I shouldn't be having this kind of a "die off".

Well... maybe I should considering what I've been through lately, having been laid off last week, raped last year, 11 week miscarriage this year... yeah, that's a lot of emotional baggage.

Here's to fixing your energy!

Gluten Free Hodgson Mill Pizza Crust

Amazing crust. This stuff actually uses yeast and rises and tastes JUST like the real thing. The texture is JUST LIKE gluten filled crust.

The possibilities are endless with this brand. Well done.

End result? A very yummy homemade pizza... and I'm totally buying this brand again.

Other brands make a "cake" type of "non" dough that's not easy to work with. This was.

End note: My dough was cooked on a stone. I didn't push the dough down in the middle of the pie like I should have, so it ended up a bit messy... but who cares?! It's all going to the same place right??

It's been a while...

With everything that happened earlier this year, there was just WAY too much going on and I didn't have the motivation, nor the need, to express how I felt here.

I spent so much time, in January and February, recovering from the miscarriage and from my Cymbalta withdrawal.

Truly, the worst, physically and mentally, was the Cymbalta. Emotionally, it was the miscarriage.

I truly HATED getting off that drug. It is one of the worst things I've been through. Going from high to low to wild to sleepy while my brain figured itself out... it was friggin' ridiculous.

As I may have mentioned in my prior post on the HSG, my cycle had to be forced using Provera, some 41 days post miscarriage.  The next cycle, the HSG cycle, ended up being a long cycle as well. I didn't ovulate until CD27, AF showed on CD41.

And now... here I am... CD37... and still no ovulation. This is late, even for me.

This is even with an HCG TRIGGER that I took on CD14.

Nope. Body said NO. Went all Grumpy Cat on me.

Since it's so late, I have decided to start a round of progesterone therapy.  I started my Natpro cream to give my body a dose of progesterone. I feel like I may have created a cyst or two from the trigger, and the fact that I'm not ovulating is concerning.

Cool part... my bloodwork is completely clean. No problems whatsoever.

Bad part... this means they don't know what the hell is wrong with me.

So... I have started something called Wobenzym. These are systemic enzymes that are there to help your body bring it back to healthy status. Talk about a massive detox. I will post something on Wobenzym later, defining what it does and explaining some benefits. I'm still in the process of doing the full research on it.

Another good news... I am not allergic to any foods! (other than wheat of course) So any intolerances will likely be addressed by the Wobenzym. I will link to my post on Wobenzym when I post it.

I will get back in the groove of sharing information that I find on this journey that I'm forced to travel.

HSG Diaries

So after my miscarriage in early January,  I basically said, "Fuck it" to trying to conceive naturally and called a Reproductive Endocrinologist.

I was in the next day, if you can believe that. How's that for a sign?

So she set up for a bunch of bloodwork and a hysterosalpingogram, aka HSG, concerned with the number of miscarriages I have had.

Bloodwork done... she found a pelvic infection which been treated the past few days by antibiotics...

And today was the HSG.  *cue scary music*

I had read many different stories about the HSG procedure but didn't really connect to it, thinking that I'll have my own experience. I thought my tubes would be good... pain would be normal and manageable...

Let me preface this with this information before I scare the hell out of someone: I have Celiac disease and my pelvic area HATES any invasive stuff. So I'm more likely to have pain due to that. I also got slightly glutened yesterday. That adds in (very slightly) as well.

So I sit here, in pain, 10 hours post HSG, therefore my view might be skewed.

Went in... excited to find out what's going on.

I was well prepared by my RE... she told me it might hurt.

She asked me to cough... and here we go.

The catheter entering my cervix did create a bit of an automatic "jerk" reaction and then calmed. Sure, slight irritation but nothing huge.

Then the dye.

Oh. My. God.

Shoot me now.

Having that dye shoved in there... the worst cramping I have ever felt. Now, if you read my miscarriage experience, I went thru some extreme pain on January 6, causing vomiting.

This was not quite the same, but it sure as hell was close. If my miscarriage was a 10 on the scale, this was a solid 8.5, maybe 9. The "catch your breath and you better not breathe" kind of pain.

And then it disappeared. The pain disappeared so fast, within 30 seconds of a push on the syringe.

And just as I was relaxing from the shock, another shot of dye came again, and yet another shock of pain.

So painful.

So my uterus is properly shaped, and my right fallopian tube flows wonderfully.

My left tube... not so much. I know my left ovary has issues with bloodflow and I tend to ovulate from my right. So the fact that my left tube is open (NOW... christ she forced it open), but flows at like 10% the rate of my right tube.

Turns out the pain is likely from trying to force my tube open. While I appreciate the gesture,  I am a bit sore down there now.

I left, more than spotting, but not in pain within a minute of the procedure being done.

And then my ibuprofen wore off.

Coughing hurts. Haha Going number 2 hurts. (Remember I got glutened)

I'll get over it. I'm just whining. I don't feel well, and haven't for the last day... catching a cold. Likely from the antibiotics I'm on. (Remember, your health is in your gut... antibiotics kill your gut, therefore kill your immune system... I'll post on that later)

Miscarriage experience

Just for those who are searching... because I certainly was.

Miscarriage sucks. It varies in the pain category,  depending on the pregnancy. Every pregnancy changes... and this is my story.

Found out about the miscarriage Thursday.

By Friday,  the bleeding was barely there... so I drank an angelica decoction to help bring it faster, so I can just be done with it.

Saturday, there was some heavier bleeding, but nothing notable. It appeared to stop by evening. I didn't want to do another decoction to avoid any bleeding issues.

I woke up Sunday morning to my husband lying in bed, listening to music.

I noticed that I was cramping pretty heavily and felt like I might be leaking so I got up to check. It felt a lot like IBS cramps, which is usually relieved by a bowel movement. No dice.

When I got back to my bed, the contractions were not pretty. I was noticing they were pretty heavy and noting that I was likely fully miscarrying this morning.

I'm typically a real trooper when it comes to my pain, so the fact that I agreed that the cramping hurt a bit was huge.

I laid down, with the intent of trying to go back to sleep.

No deal. Had to pee again.

Got up again... and when I made my way back to the bed, the pain was debilitating.  I was surprised at how much it hurt... it's just a miscarriage for pete's sake.

I laid down and tried to focus on other things... Facebook,  pinterest... nope. The contractions were starting to get nasty, now that I was awake.

Contractions weren't decreasing at all. They were lasting for 5-10 minutes and only giving me a break of a minute between.

I kept trying to change positions to ease the pain... and finally had to get up. I walked back and forth, trying to ease the discomfort that was steadily growing... threatening to reach an unmanageable level.

Nausea started rising from the pain, and my concern for safety grew. I'm all about letting the body do its thing, but not to the point where I can't walk without vomiting. 

I asked David to get me a bowl. I knew the vomiting was coming and my bowels were insisting on emptying themselves at the same time.

I sat on the toilet... the contractions consuming me. I tried reiki to calm my nerves and stomach... I absolutely could not focus enough, so I then focused on giving in to the pain, letting my body do what it needs.

The vomiting started... creating a pushing action down below. It wasn't painful... the contractions were painful, not the pushing. I started focusing on trying to stop the vomiting... nothing was coming out... only digestive juices. I could not get it to stop.

About 5 minutes into continuous vomiting, and during a gracious break, my water broke.

Oh My God.

The relief I felt at just having that release in pressure was heavenly.

Immediately, my nausea disappeared.

At 11 weeks, there is apparently a lot for the uterus to get rid of and it was struggling to get the unready unripe cervix open, causing the massive pain.

I believe I passed the baby when the water broke... my bleeding has since slowed considerably.

I post this horrendous experience for others who are going thru the same thing. We, as mothers, are scared shitless to go through a miscarriage in the first place... I can only hope my experience tells that this kind of pain in a miscarriage is normal.

The Hopelessness of Infertility

Life just sucks sometimes.

This pregnancy that I announced in November was fatefully doomed.

I received confirmation of the miscarriage via ultrasound and blood work two days ago, after I started bleeding (like period bleeding) and my midwife couldn't find the heartbeat with the Doppler. I was to be 11 weeks along yesterday, and the baby wasn't even measuring 8 weeks.  They said that the baby likely passed within just a couple days after the last sonogram, shown below, where the heart beat was happily at 174bpm and the baby was just starting to move.  This is the final picture of my child while living.

Down the tubes goes my hopes and dreams for this little one... to wait for the next little soul to grace us with its presence, hopefully more permanently.

No more thinking about the anatomy scan that was going to be coming up soon... no more starting to think about a baby shower since this is my first.  No more daydreaming about summer birthdays since this one was due in the middle of summer.  No more dreaming about a baby girl wearing the pink tutu dress with the big bright cheeky smile inherited from her daddy.  No more dreaming about an artistic baby boy who likes to draw and play baseball.  No more thinking about this upcoming Halloween and what we would dress the baby up as.

I cry... but more on the inside than out.  The tears fall within, borne from pain of 2 years of infertility, health issues, hard research, and death.

My soul cries, knowing that this was all planned for me to experience in this life time... and yet with all the advances in medical science, we are unable to tell why women miscarry and what the exact reason was.

So now... I sit back and wait, while my body expels the tissue naturally... knowing that I created this, and I also killed it.  This is where infertility hurts the most.

Infertility strikes any woman to the core; making us feel less womanly.

The power within the woman is amazing... we have the power to create from within... and the power to kill from within.

I seek to find peace from within... and balance.  I am sad, while I sit here, bleeding both from my body and from my soul, but it won't last. I will return to the strength I once was... and to know that something so small can tear down my rock solid emotional defenses...

... is heart warming and I can't wait to try again.

The Importance of Micro-Nutrient Testing in Unexplained Infertility

Unexplained infertility is when the standard infertility testing in western (allopathic) medicine has failed to find the cause for the infertility.  By this point, the male partner has gone through sperm analysis with a clean bill of health, as well as the female partner having been checked for ovulation patterns, ovarian issues, endometriosis, hormonal issues, pelvic scarring, sometimes chromosomal DNA compatibility and sometimes a laparoscopy is done to make sure everything is clear and not blocked by scarring.

This means that the couple trying to conceive get the news from their doctor that their infertility is "unexplained" which means that with those means they have utilized up to that point, they haven't found anything.

A lot of couples I'm aware of are then consequently told they will never conceive unless they go through in-vitro or intra-uterine insemination.

This is ridiculous and absolutely not true.

Let's go back to the understanding of how the human body works.

The human body is a machine. If something major is out of balance, it can throw the rest of the body out of whack as well.  Compare this to your car: if it doesn't have gas, it's not going to move forward, is it?

Well, neither is your body.  Your body knows innately when it has enough nutrients to handle a pregnancy.  If it doesn't have enough of what it needs to create life, it won't let you... and western medicine won't be able to tell you why.

But micro-nutrient testing CAN.  Testing to see where someone is at nutritionally should be one of the first things that should be done, not only in the case of infertility, but also in the case of disease.  See this study which showed that vitamin B6 helped create pregnancies, and how vitamin C supplementation helped those with a luteal phase insufficiency.

Let's take a look at some of the micro nutrients that are tested in one major test that is done in the US.

In Spectra Cell Laboratory's Comprehensive Nutrient Panel, they test for the history (not just a static number of what it was at that moment) of where each vitamin is at.

See SpectraCell Lab's Site

Yeah, that's a lot of vitamins and fatty acids to be checking for.

With today's average American diet, the majority of us have some sort of vitamin deficiency.  One of the largest deficiencies today in the population is vitamin D.  While a vitamin D deficiency does not create infertility, a vitamin D deficiency can be a signal that there are other problems as well.

Therefore, this micro-nutrient panel should be run.  A lot of insurance companies will cover at least part of it. The way I look at it, it's WAY cheaper than paying for in-vitro or intra-uterine insemination... and you don't have to go through the hormonal crap those ladies have to go through for those procedures, where you don't even get a 100% guarantee that you will get a baby out of it.

If you get tested and you start supplementing properly (properly is key... you should see a nutritionist if you have a number of deficiencies so that you don't throw your body out of whack even more) you could get pregnant on your own, without all those procedures.

I have a friend who has been trying for a baby for 6 years now.  She writes in her own blog about her frustrations with TTC and just life in general. She has some pretty heavy duty stories.

Serenitysomedayttc.com

I met Mandy on the Babycenter Message board Actively Trying: The Next Level, which she moderates.

Ever since I got my nutrients tested, I have been trying to convince her and her hubby to get tested.  They have a serious case of unexplained infertility... everything comes out clean for them.

Yet she's not pregnant.

So I threw the information for the SpectraCell labs at her the other day, hoping to plant a seed, and hoping that they might try it before moving into IVF or IUI and spending tens of thousands for a possibility of a baby that she could still miscarry because of her lack of good nutritional status.

If she ever does and she ends up pregnant, I promise to come back because if she can get pregnant from this, ANYBODY can.

Too many medicines being shoved at us

It really irks me that doctors and nurses in today's western medicine really try to shove medication down your throat.  I have friends who are immediately put on Prometrium (which is progesterone) once they find out they are pregnant, no matter what their progesterone numbers look like, and it's their first pregnancy, so it's not like they've had problems in the past... so what the heck?!

I went to my OB appointment today to get my 6 week 4 day ultrasound.  Ultrasound went very well...  got to see the gorgeous heart beating at 108bpm.

After the ultrasound and waiting in the waiting room, I was guided back by the nurse. Before stepping on the scale, she asked me how I was feeling.  I mentioned that I've been feeling kinda "off" but nothing huge.  No vomiting or anything... just the occasional nausea and uneasy feeling.... and I made it clear it was nothing.

She then proceeded to ask me if I was on any nausea medicine. I looked shocked at her, I guess, because she then quickly asked me, "Do you need some nausea medicine?"

Um... NO. I'm not vomiting, I'm not miserable, I'm not unhappy, I can still work (unfortunately... LOL)... why are you trying to shove Zofran down my throat?

What is with that? Why can't we just let our bodies do what they are supposed to do and be happy with it?? Most of us are okay without all this intervention!!

"Oh, but what if something happens?"

Then I'll go to the frickin' hospital... just like if I break my foot! In the mean time, I'm not going to preemptively put my foot in a cast, just to avoid the issue!

Western medicine is all about the money making, it seems. They want to charge all of us hundreds of dollars for a few pills, and then when we get sick still, we wonder what's going on, thinking that we get what we pay for right??

WRONG.

Just because it's expensive and people say it's the right thing to do, doesn't mean it actually is.

See this article for proof positive that there is an issue with the pharmaceutical industry!!

Let your body do the talking. If your body needs something, it will let you know. Yes... take advantage of the wonders of modern medicine IF YOU NEED IT. Not "just in case".  It's those "just in case" situations that create terrible situations.  The risks associated with some of these things, like Cesarean section, are NOT WORTH IT.

Yes, I'm very passionate about things like this, and I feel that western medicine steps in way too much and completely forgets that Mother Nature knows all and ALWAYS wins.

Pantothenic Acid works!!

Guess who's pregnant!!! ME!!

In my first cycle of supplementing with pantothenic acid (vitamin b5), I am pregnant! We are so amazed.

I started the cycle on the hcg diet... I had lost 20lbs in my round in June, and wanted to see if I could lose some more.

Well, 27 days into the hcg diet, supplementing with vitamins and pantothenic acid, no change in my weight happened and I was having issues with my blood sugar, so I just stopped.  I was pretty disappointed with this, that my body would no longer react to the hcg diet and lose weight.

So... I signed up for Weight Watchers, right after getting off the hcg diet.

A little background, the hcg diet can prevent you from ovulating... it makes your body think it's pregnant, so it suppresses ovulation if you start the diet more than 5 days before your normal ovulation time.  If you are irregular and start the diet mid-cycle, it could make you ovulate as hcg is known to be a trigger for ovulation.

Well... 2 days after getting off the hcg, I ovulated, which surprised me.  I didn't expect it that quickly. Hubby and I didn't even have time to react... I was sure it was going to be a negative cycle, which didn't bother me. (after 2 years, why would it?)

So I start Weight Watchers, start slowly losing weight... and my pms was really heavy. My breasts were more sore than normal, I was holding quite a bit of water weight... kinda snarky... but I had just figured it was the b5 in my system and that this would be my new "normal" pms.

The week my flow was due... I was exhausted.  Just tired. Now I'm a claims adjuster and we've been overloaded with the Hurricane Sandy claims, so I fully blamed it on that.

I'm a member of an infertility message board, and some of the ladies there were insisting that I had it this month... I was adamantly denying it, saying we didn't do the deed at the right time, and this is probably just my new normal...

They were like "Yeah... okay Jess... whatever.  You should just test!"

I refuse to test until my period is late.  I hate the disappointment.

Well... Friday, the day my flow was due, came and went... my birthday was the next day and I celebrated nicely, not concerned about being pregnant or anything. Had some wine... but nothing ridiculous.

By the end of the day Saturday, with my flow being a no-show to the party, I was starting to wonder if I was off on my ovulation date.

Sunday morning... I tested. :-D

Holy mother of god, what the heck is this???

Two very solid lines on this gorgeous test... and one very caught off guard soon-to-be momma.

I walk out of the bathroom and take this to my husband, who was making breakfast at the time, and show it to him... he did a double take.

After 23 months of trying... and on my first cycle of pantothenic acid... we finally got pregnant. As of today, I am 5 weeks 1 day pregnant... further along than my last miscarriage.  This one feels solid... so I'm pretty sure this one will make it to our arms in July. :)

12/22/2012 update:

My blood test results taken at 4 weeks 4 days showed my TSH levels had decreased from 6.1 down to within the normal range (still high, but normal) at 4.35 since September.

Goes to show that the pantothenic acid did the job for my thyroid. :)

Vitamin B5 (pantothenic acid) and Celiac Disease

I recently went to the doctor, explaining to them that I'm still not pregnant, after almost 2 years now of actively trying, and that I wanted a vitamin panel done.  I was also concerned about my adrenals, stating that it must be the cortisol (the stress hormone) issue that's preventing me from losing weight and fully calming down.

So they ran a million tests... and ran a micro-nutrient test with SpectraCell Laboratory.

I fully expected to have some deficiencies, but I knew I would generally be okay, considering I do supplement.

Since I am Celiac, I'm not surprised to find deficiencies, although your average person could always have vitamin deficiencies, like vitamin D3.

I was really blown away to find out I am very deficient in vitamin B5, also known as pantothenic acid.

Pantothenic acid is found in EVERYTHING that mammals (including humans) eat. It is a very very important  vitamin that helps the co-enzyme A function properly, the adrenals keep up to their best, and help your brain function a bit better.  If your adrenals don't function properly, you don't function properly and your body goes into distress mode.  My TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) was sky high, after decreasing after going gluten free, shocking the hell out of me.  My DHEA-S and testosterone levels were well above where they should be, indicating there's a heavy duty adrenal issue happening.  Not to mention my infertility... which is directly related to B5 deficiency as well.

But here's the problem and why I never even CONSIDERED that I could have a deficiency:

Pantothenic acid is literally found in EVERYTHING, like I mentioned earlier.  To find someone with a B5 deficiency means they have either been literally starving, or they are an alcoholic. (which I am neither)

But.

Back in the day, they used to treat Celiac Disease with pantothenic acid, to help the patient feel better.  Because of the drastic gastrointestinal issues and malabsorption that is so common among Celiacs, those B vitamins are up for rejection in the Celiac system, which does include B5.  It is also noted, in that article I linked to, that a vitamin B5 deficiency does cause atrophy of the villi in the intestines. If a subject does not feel completely better, nor return to complete normalcy, or only half way responds to a gluten free diet, try B5.

After 5 days of having taken at least 1000mg a day of pantothenic acid, I can truly say that I have experienced an upswing in my mood and most importantly, my ability to focus.  My intelligence is huge to me, and to lose that in the last couple years because I was unable to focus properly was very hard on my self esteem.

Yet... I continue on... hopefully in a few months I can get pregnant as my body regulates.

Celiac and Infertility - How It All Came About

Celiac affects so many people (they estimate 1 in 133 people and even more are just gluten intolerant, not Celiac) yet it's almost never diagnosed, so I'm happy to spread the word.

I'm going to give you a couple links, otherwise I'll end up typing out a whole book for you to read. lol

www.celiaccentral.org/Celiac-Diseas...

www.livestrong.com/article/420766-m...

These are good starters.

Basically what causes the infertility is not the Celiac disease itself, it's the malnutrition. Celiac damages your intestinal lining, making it so that you don't absorb the proper vitamins to be able to carry a child. 

I did not always know I had Celiac... all I knew is that when I was young, I was put in the hospital due to a huge lymph node infection in my neck (it was huge enough where you couldn't see my jaw line, and I have a square face with a strong jaw) and after that hospital visit, I started getting these random rashes. Doctors could never figure out what the rash was, and it would come and go throughout my life. I didn't have the major digestive issues until I was about 28... when I started drinking beer. Before that, I had been a rum drinker, if I drank, which is gluten free, and I also tended to avoid wheat products because of how I just generally felt yucky after eating them and they made me gain weight very quickly. My rash reappeared as I drank beer and ate wheat things I shouldn't be eating... I ended up gaining some 70lbs within a year. It was RIDICULOUS. 

So, about 6 months after my first miscarriage in 2010, I started feeling terrible. I had been suffering from depression since 2009, and my health started failing, even though I had normally been very healthy and rarely got sick. I went to the doc, and they found my TSH levels were elevated, so they checked my thyroid, checked me for PCOS.... and everything came out normal and healthy except my very high TSH. I kept thinking "NO WAY am I healthy! I feel like crap!" My cycles were all over the place, I was skipping, and they were getting lighter suddenly.

I have a friend who has Celiacs... so she educated me on it a bit, because I was curious. 

One day I put it together that I had my digestive issues after having beer ALWAYS. My skin issue flared up massively after having beer and I had never put it together.

So... I did my research and got tested... I have something called Dermatitis Herpetiformis (not herpes, even though the name looks like it. lol Trust me, I freaked when I saw that) which is directly related to Celiacs. Because I have that, I have Celiacs. 

I went gluten free in December 2011, and my skin issue has since disappeared and never come back. My digestive functions are all normal now... and truly, with a little bit of humor here... I can't tell you how nice it is to not have to race to the bathroom. haha

ANYWAYS. Since going gluten free... I have found I have some major issues. Systemic Candida (yeast) tore me up considerably, and I'm still fighting it with enzymes and heavy duty probiotics. That same Candida is likely why I still haven't been able to hold a pregnancy because 9 months gluten free, I should be able to get pregnant. I have read other women are likely to get pregnant within 6 months of going gluten free, assuming there are no other issues. My cycles have finally "somewhat" regulated... but I have a theory that my lining is no good and won't hold the embryo so I believe I miscarry within a couple days.

So... for you, this is what I would suggest from all my research I have done with malnutrition and hormonal issues created from it:

Have your vitamin D checked. Mine was insanely low and I have discovered in my research that the majority of the American population is very low in vitamin D. Take a daily supplement of 10,000iu for 3 months, and it'll bring you back up. You may feel even better... just then maintain it at 5000iu. See this link for you... www.vitamindcouncil.org/health-cond...

Take your vitamin E and Vitamin A. 

Have your B vitamin levels checked. Once I went gluten free, my B vitamins leveled out on their own. I don't even have to supplement. 

Also, if you can, have Zinc levels checked, or you can check if you have these symptoms of a deficiency: (this link is great... has a ton of symptoms in there that a lot of women I know have...) www.womenshairlossproject.com/hair-...
If you decide to start supplementing with zinc, take no more than 100mg a day, otherwise it may make you nauseous. I take a 50mg supplement with my multivitamin.

I also am an advocate for magnesium supplementing as well. Even as little as 100mg supplement can help your adrenals handle your stress and cortisol levels. Cortisol signals your body is in a stressful situation, and won't get pregnant if you are that stressed, in order for nature to survive. :)

I have also very recently found out that vitamin C helps with estrogen levels so you can help make good lining. :)

And... last, but likely the most important: probiotics ESPECIALLY if you have ever been on antibiotics before. Your internal bacterial flora is important to your health, and antibiotics kill the good and the bad. Get a probiotic that as many cultures and as many strains of bacteria as possible. A normal healthy person has 100 trillion bacteria colonies within their system. I take a probiotic right now that has 35billion cultures in each pill with 33 different strains of bacteria, twice a day. If you take a probiotic and it causes a general "flu-like" feeling or diarrhea, it's working. That feeling will go away in 1-3 weeks as your body resets itself. If it's too uncomfortable, skip a day of probiotic dose to give your body a break and ease into them slowly.

Well, I still wrote you a book... hahaha

My infertility hasn't resolved itself yet... but I'm working on it. If I can figure it out, I hope I can share the knowledge with others. Allopathic (what we practice here in America with our regular doctors) medicine doesn't recognize the power of nutrition a lot, so my doctor hasn't been much help. lol But I have been told that since my Celiac was likely activated when I had that major lymph node infection when I was 7, there is probably a lot of damage to reverse and it may take my body years to get to normal. But that is just my own situation.

If you have any questions... any, no matter how TMI (I am a self proclaimed "poop" expert... because truly, your poop says a lot about a person's health)... please feel free to ask. I love it when people ask so I can share what I have learned.

Best of luck... Jess